Nicci Arsenault
Chief People Officer
Replicate
Episode 97
Unconventional HR: The Secret Weapon for Scaling Startups Through Difficult Conversations
Current chapter: Built by People podcast features insights from world's top HR leaders
Built By PeopleJuly 22, 2025 · 8:34
Thesis
“An unconventional path into HR leadership provides unique strengths, especially for scaling startups. Mastering difficult conversations is a fundamental and differentiating leadership skill that fosters trust and drives organizational growth, requiring preparation, clear frameworks like CAR, and a no-apologies approach to feedback.”
Show notes
Navigating HR Leadership with Nicci Arsenault: Difficult Conversations and GrowthIn this episode of the Built by People Podcast, host welcomes HR leader Nicci, who shares her non-linear career journey from Facebook to GitHub and scrappy startups. Nicci dives into her experiences and strategies for dealing with difficult conversations, including a specific case involving feedback to a senior leader. She introduces her CAR framework for handling these talks and discusses the importance of preparation, accountability, and respect. Nicci also highlights how empowering leaders with the skills to manage tough conversations can transform organizational dynamics.
00:00 Introduction to the Built by People Podcast
00:16 Sponsor Message: Previ Network
00:38 Guest Introduction: Nicci's Career Journey
02:13 Navigating Challenging Conversations
03:44 Effective Frameworks for Difficult Conversations
05:10 Developing Expertise in Managing Conversations
06:48 Transformative Conversations: Real-life Examples
08:08 Parting Advice and Conclusion
What you'll take away
- 1Non-linear career paths can cultivate unique strengths for HR leaders, particularly valuable in startup environments.
- 2Thorough preparation, including outlining key points and rehearsing with a trusted partner (e.g., employment counsel), is crucial for high-stakes difficult conversations.
- 3The CAR framework (Clarity, Accountability, Respect) provides a structured and memorable approach for effective difficult conversations.
- 4Never apologize when delivering constructive feedback, as it can inadvertently imply wrongdoing instead of fostering growth.
- 5Empowering and training leaders to conduct their own difficult conversations acts as a powerful force multiplier for building trust and momentum across the organization.
- 6Real-time, honest, and respectful feedback, delivered with care and clarity, yields high returns by strengthening working relationships and promoting individual growth.
What most organizations get wrong
- •I never apologize for giving that feedback. I think an apology can really imply that you're doing something wrong when in reality we're helping the other person grow.
- •Being kind doesn't mean avoiding the truth. In fact, I think being kind means saying the truth and delivering to them the way that you would want the message delivered.
In Nicci's words
“I always like to tell people that I had no intention of starting in HR, but I started more in the online sales and operations space at early Facebook as one of the first 800 employees there.”
Highlights her unconventional entry into HR, which she later leveraged as a strength in startup environments.
“all the things I love doing, that's actually HR. That led me into my first formal role and joining GitHub in 2013 and helping to build out the HR function there...”
Marks the pivotal moment where she recognized her passion for people-related work as her true calling in HR.
“I want to keep it simple, right? So I want to be clear, but not overwhelming. I want to make it actionable, and then I want to rehearse it.”
Summarizes her practical and actionable preparation steps for navigating difficult conversations effectively.
“One personal rule I have when I deliver feedback is I never apologize for giving that feedback. I think an apology can really imply that you're doing something wrong when in reality we're helping the other person grow.”
This quote offers a powerful, contrarian piece of advice on delivering constructive feedback without undermining its purpose.
“at GitHub, it really showed me how much trust and momentum could be built when your leaders felt prepared for their own difficult conversations, so not necessarily just me having them directly anymore with employees, but empowering and training my leaders to then go and have them so that it really became a force multiplier throughout the organization.”
Explains her realization that equipping other leaders with these skills significantly amplifies their positive impact across the company.
“I honestly, I would say people might forget the details, but they'll remember if you were honest, if you listened, and if they felt respected. Hard talks, yield high returns.”
Her parting advice emphasizes the lasting impact of integrity, active listening, and respect in all leadership interactions.
The problems this episode addresses
- •Organizations struggle to scale effectively while maintaining positive culture and developing leaders, particularly during rapid growth phases.
- •Leaders often face challenges in delivering sensitive feedback or managing underperforming peers/direct reports without proper preparation or frameworks.
- •Employees, especially those transitioning from traditional environments, may lack experience with or be resistant to receiving real-time, constructive feedback, leading to anxiety, imposter syndrome, and stalled growth.
- •In lean startup environments, a single 'poor fit' can disproportionately undermine team performance and morale.
- •Deeply technical organizations frequently overlook or undervalue 'soft skills' like effective communication and feedback, missing opportunities for differentiation and stronger leadership.
- •A significant portion of the workforce (employees) is primarily concerned with covering monthly expenses, impacting their financial well-being and potentially their engagement.
In this episode
Built by People podcast features insights from world's top HR leaders
Built by People
I started more in the online sales and operations space at early Facebook
How to Get Out of Your Career Path
Nikki says preparing for difficult conversations is key when navigating your career
How to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation
What framework or approach do you use when structuring difficult conversations that has proven effective
What framework or approach to structuring difficult conversations?
Nikki says managing difficult conversations is a core leadership skill at GitHub
How to Have Difficult Conversations in Leadership
A difficult conversation can transform a situation or relationship
How to Give Real-Time, Honest Feedback
Topics covered
Organizations and entities mentioned
Full transcript
Expand transcript (0 words)
Transcript is not available yet.