FARMER TWO - PRIVILEGE

They Read Your First Sentence and Decided You Don't Care About Them

And after that, nothing else in the message mattered.

A team lead needed three deliverables by Friday. They wrote a clean, efficient Slack message: "Please complete the following tasks by EOD Friday: 1) Update the client deck. 2) Reconcile the Q3 numbers. 3) Send the vendor follow-up." Hit send. Moved on.

The recipient, a Farmer Two, stared at the message for a full minute. No greeting, no acknowledgment, no "how are you" or "thanks for your work this week." Just tasks. The message was clear. It was concise. And it landed like a door closing in their face.

They completed the work, but they did it with a low-grade ache that colored the entire week, a feeling they couldn't quite name but that sounded something like: I'm just a task queue to this person. The team lead never knew. The Two didn't say anything. They just got a little quieter in the next standup, a little less willing to volunteer.

The problem with generic communication

Most advice about workplace communication treats people as interchangeable. Write clearly. Be concise. Lead with empathy. These are fine defaults, and they fail constantly with specific people for specific reasons.

Personality science has mapped this for decades. The Enneagram identifies 27 distinct subtypes, each with a different instinctual drive that shapes how they filter, prioritize, and react to incoming messages. These are hardwired filters, running beneath conscious awareness, that determine whether your message lands or gets discarded before it's finished.

The Farmer Two filters every message through a single question: does this person value me for who I am, or only for what I produce? Their core drive is to be loved and prioritized just for existing, not for their output. If your opening line is transactional, you've already answered that question the wrong way. Everything after it gets processed through the lens of rejection.

Meet the Farmer Two: "Privilege"

Farmer Twos "seduce" like a child in the presence of grown-ups as a way of (unconsciously) inducing others to take care of them. Everyone likes children, and the Farmer Two adopts a youthful stance as a way of getting special treatment well beyond childhood. As the countertype, it's less easy to see pride in this Two because they are more fearful of and ambivalent about connecting with others. The title "Privilege" reflects this Two's desire to be loved and prioritized just for being who they are, not for what they give to others. Related to the youthful stance, these Twos are playful, irresponsible, and charming.

Ambivalence about connection. This is the countertype Two. They want closeness but they're also afraid of it. That makes tone disproportionately important. A cold opener confirms their fear that relationships are conditional. A warm opener tells them it's safe to engage. You're setting the terms of the entire interaction.

Desire to be valued for personhood, not performance. Most workplace messages tie value to output. "Great job on the report." "We need you to hit these numbers." For this subtype, that framing is a trap. If their worth is tied to what they deliver, then a bad week means they're not worth loving. They need to hear that they matter before you talk about what you need from them, because it reflects the genuine truth of the relationship.

Charm as a survival mechanism. Their playfulness and likability are strategies for staying safe. When they sense that warmth is being reciprocated, they open up and give you everything. When they sense transactional distance, they withdraw behind the charm and give you surface compliance. You get the work but you lose the person.

5 ways you're losing them before you start

1. Cold transactional openers. "Please complete the following by Friday." No greeting, no warmth, no acknowledgment of the human on the other end. This feels like rejection of personhood, a signal that the relationship is purely extractive. Start with relational warmth and genuine regard. One sentence of care changes the entire reception.

2. Conditional affection. "I'll be really happy with you if you nail this presentation." This ties belonging to output, which activates their deepest fear: that love is earned through performance and can be revoked by failure. Separate belonging from output evaluation. Their value on the team isn't contingent on the next deliverable.

3. Heavy demand stacking. "I need you to handle the client call, update the dashboard, revise the proposal, and prep the meeting notes by tomorrow." Multiple simultaneous demands create overwhelm and trigger retreat. They won't push back; they'll just quietly drown. Use one clear ask at a time and sequence the rest.

4. Guilt-based motivation. "The team is really counting on you. I hope you won't let us down." This breeds resentment and insecurity because it weaponizes their desire for connection. Instead, use invitation plus clear benefit: frame the ask as something they're choosing, not something they owe.

5. Mixed signals. "You're so important to the team" followed by weeks of cold, task-only messages. Inconsistency between words and behavior creates attachment confusion. They can't tell if they're valued or being managed. Align your words, boundaries, and follow-through so the signal is stable.

What they actually want to hear

For this subtype, warmth is the delivery mechanism. Without it, the content never reaches them.

Try it out: FREE Communication Optimizer for Farmer Twos

Paste your draft message into your LLM, then paste the following prompt after it. The model will rewrite your message specifically for this subtype.

mode: communication_optimizer
target_subtype: FARMER_TWO
subtype_name: Privilege
instinct: self_preservation
core_drive: "be loved and prioritized for who they are while feeling safe in connection"
communication_stance: "warm-reassuring,belonging-first,gentle,care-with-boundaries"
tone[4]:
  - warm over cold
  - personal over impersonal
  - gentle over forceful
  - clear over ambiguous
message_rules[6]:
  - open with genuine personal regard and safety
  - make care concrete through specific supportive actions
  - keep requests simple and non-demanding
  - affirm worth before discussing performance
  - offer choices so connection feels voluntary
  - set kind boundaries to prevent dependency loops
anti_patterns[5]{id,pattern,why_it_fails,fix}:
  1,cold_transactional_opening,feels like rejection of personhood,start with relational warmth and regard
  2,conditional_affection,activates fear of losing love,separate belonging from output evaluation
  3,heavy_demand_stack,creates overwhelm and retreat,use one clear ask at a time
  4,guilt_based_motivation,breeds resentment and insecurity,use invitation plus clear benefit
  5,mixed_signals,creates attachment confusion,align words boundaries and follow-through
few_shot[3]{id,generic,optimized}:
  1,"Please complete these tasks today.","I value how you show up. Can you take this one task first and I will support the rest after?"
  2,"You need to be more responsible.","You matter here. Let us make one reliable routine that protects both your needs and the team."
  3,"I cannot keep helping if results are inconsistent.","I care about you and I need consistency on this step. Here is the boundary and the support."
quality_gate[4]:
  - warmth should never remove clarity
  - every ask should be specific and bounded
  - preserve dignity while preventing enmeshment
  - keep tone nurturing and operational
input_source: prior_thread_message

Twenty-seven subtypes. One message.

The Farmer Two needs warmth before they'll trust your content. Compare that to the Farmer Eight ("Satisfaction"), who reads warmth as manipulation and wants you to skip straight to the bottom line. Or the Teamer One ("Non-Adaptability"), who cares only whether you're following the correct principles. Same office, same email thread, three completely different prerequisites for a message that lands.

Personalization determines whether your message gets read or discarded.

The senders who learn to match their communication to how each person processes information will retain better talent, build deeper trust, and get more from every interaction. Everyone else will keep wondering why their clear, well-written messages produce inconsistent results.

The most charming person on your team is also the most sensitive to how you open a conversation. Choose your first sentence accordingly.

It's why we're building Rally, communications automatically optimized for each person's instinctual profile. See how we do it: AI Smells Remover.