SHRM26 Debrief · Leadership & Development · #1359

Ten Things I Hate About My Manager - Why People Leave

with David Rittof

& Dennis Davis

▶ Watch on the SHRM portal ~121 min, distilled

manager-employee trustfeedback cultureempowerment vs. micromanagement

"There's an enormous difference between sameness and fairness."

What it was about

Most of what employees hate about managers and HR boils down to a handful of fixable behaviors: poor communication, inconsistent treatment, lack of empathy and availability, and failing to explain the "why" behind change. Leadership itself is a learnable, coachable skill, not an innate trait reserved for a few.

By the numbers

67% say they don't trust management

Study cited on employee trust in 'management' as an abstract concept vs. named individuals

7% of communication is in the words used

Breakdown of communication: words vs. tone vs. body language

55% is body language

Same communication breakdown

Key notes

Audit the span of control in your organization. When one manager has too many direct reports, real coaching, communication, and empowerment become physically impossible.
Explain the 'why' behind organizational changes (e.g., new compliance requirements that come with company growth) so employees feel less fearful and resistant.
Give managers active practice and rehearsal in delivering feedback, not just training on the paperwork. Fear of being disliked, not lack of time, is the top reason managers avoid giving feedback.

The contrarian takeThe speakers argue negative or underperforming employees shouldn't be dismissed outright. Their complaints, about favoritism, lack of promotion consideration, or being set up to fail on a PIP, often surface legitimate organizational problems, including early warning signs of a union drive, that positive employees won't raise.

Take this back Monday

Do this for your team

Have every manager start giving one specific piece of public credit to a team member this week, not just year-end feedback.

Say this in your next leadership meeting

Most manager complaints boil down to fixable habits like communication and credit-sharing, not personality. Leadership is coachable, not innate.

Watch out for

Letting middle managers become a disempowered mouthpiece who just relays top-down messages without buy-in, which can sabotage new policies as they cascade down the chain of command.
Assuming remote work can replicate in-person engagement without deliberate structure (cameras and mics on, regularity, familiarity). Casual or under-resourced remote HR loses the non-verbal 90%+ of communication.
Dropping legacy communication channels (memos, email) too fast when rolling out new tech-based policy communication, leaving behind employees who don't follow digital-first channels.

Fun fact · David Rittof

He co-authored the textbook "Quality Circles," still used in university courses, and has led his firm's employee relations consulting for over 33 years.

If this landed, see these

↳ Go deeperCommunicating with Impact...for Results! The Art of Tactful and Diplomatic CommunicationGives managers the concrete tactics for the hard conversations this session says they're avoiding.⇄ The counterpointAI Can’t Lead Under Pressure. But You Must: Inside the Athleadership Operating System (Part II) A neuroscience-backed Leadership Lab for Strengthening Strategic Influence and Team Stability Under Pressure (with Dr. Michael Mannino)Argues the real fix isn't better habits training, it's neuroscience-based conditioning under pressure.✦ The unexpected oneHow to Leverage the 5 Hidden Signals That Predict Cultural DriftBad-manager habits are exactly the hidden signals that quietly drift culture off course.