SHRM26 Debrief · Leadership & Development · #2647

Master the Art of Elegant Interruption: Your Path to Conversational Influence

with Rebecca Murray

▶ Watch on the SHRM portal ~61 min, distilled

interruption tacticsvoice equitygender and communication

"The more female you look or sound, the darker the color of your skin, and the less physical or mental ability you appear to have, the likelihood of being interrupted, being over-talked, being explained to goes up, period."

What it was about

Interruption, done with intention and specific phrasing, is a gift rather than a rudeness — the real goal is "voice equity," equal opportunity for contribution, achieved through elegant tactics rather than either staying silent or interrupting carelessly.

By the numbers

women are interrupted up to three times more

gender disparity in interruption frequency

65% of all interruptions were aimed at these three women

study of the three female US Supreme Court justices, 2010-2020, interruptions from underlings and peers

over 50%

percentage of first-impression conversations in her survey rated as negative when someone dominates a first meeting

Key notes

Say the person's name first before redirecting or summarizing them, since hearing one's own name pronounced correctly interrupts the brain's attention and creates a natural pause to jump into.
Use "interrupt and redirect" phrasing like "[Name], thank you for your input, for now let's get back to..." to pull a meeting off a tangent without shutting the person down.
Use "interrupt and move on" (the "I wish" tactic, e.g. "I wish I had more time to talk about X, but could we connect on LinkedIn?") to exit a networking conversation respectfully.

The contrarian takeInterruption is not inherently rude — done with the right intention, tone, and phrasing, elegant interruption is framed as a gift to the speaker, the conversation, and the relationship, challenging the common upbringing/etiquette rule that interrupting is always disrespectful.

Take this back Monday

Do this for your team

Teach managers the 'say their name first' redirect for meetings, so quieter voices get pulled back in without being shut down.

Say this in your next leadership meeting

Interruption isn't inherently rude — done with intention, it's how we protect voice equity and stop a few people from dominating every meeting.

Watch out for

Treating all interruption as inherently rude and therefore never learning to interrupt with intention, which leaves rabbit-holing, off-track meetings, and long-winded speakers unchecked.
Interrupting to 'splain — answering a different question than the one asked, or assuming someone doesn't already know something and telling them anyway.
Raising pitch instead of volume when trying to be heard, which can make the speaker sound emotional or agitated and undermine their authority.

Fun fact · Rebecca Murray

Rebecca Murray began singing before she could speak and has since recorded, directed, or produced hundreds of audio works, from audiobooks to live-streamed events.

If this landed, see these

↳ Go deeperThe Art and Science of Asking Transformative QuestionsTurns listening into a design skill: five qualities that shape any question you ask.⇄ The counterpointCommunicating with Impact...for Results! The Art of Tactful and Diplomatic CommunicationComplicates the case for interrupting: sometimes tact means not jumping in at all.✦ The unexpected oneRaid Readiness: Preparing Your Workforce for ICE Worksite ActionsSame calm interrupt-and-redirect instinct, aimed at an ICE encounter instead of a meeting.