SHRM26 Debrief · Leadership & Development · #1862
Communicating with Impact...for Results! The Art of Tactful and Diplomatic Communication
with Julie Burch
"Honesty does not make you a good communicator."
What it was about
Effective communication requires balancing honesty with tact and diplomacy, and results-oriented communicators need both the 'willing' (self-esteem/motivation) and the 'able' (concrete techniques) to handle difficult conversations at work.
Key notes
- Make sure your visual (body language, facial expression), vocal (tone), and verbal (words) messages match. Mismatches among these 'three V's' cause most miscommunication.
- Use the 'acknowledge, transition' technique to redirect a rude or sarcastic coworker: acknowledge what they said, then transition back to the topic ('That sounds like something we should talk about after the meeting. As I was saying...').
- Use 'acknowledge, question' (negative inquiry) to push back on a comment you disagree with without becoming defensive: acknowledge, then ask a clarifying question ('Help me understand where you're coming from').
The contrarian takeHonesty alone does not make someone a good communicator. 'I'm just honest, I tell it like it is' is a flawed excuse, since honesty must be balanced with tact to actually produce results.
Take this back Monday
Do this for your team
Coach a manager to try 'when, then, so' on one lingering issue: name the behavior, its impact, and a forward fix.
Say this in your next leadership meeting
Honesty alone doesn't make you a good communicator — tact is what turns honest feedback into results.
Watch out for
- Believing 'honesty' alone makes you a good communicator — honesty without tact undermines results.
- Responding to rudeness with passive-aggressive behavior (muttering, silent treatment) or aggressive confrontation, both of which are equally unprofessional and ineffective.
- Formulating your rebuttal while the other person is still talking instead of pausing to genuinely listen and acknowledge them first.
Fun fact · Julie Burch
Julie Burch once appeared as a guest on Good Morning America, interviewed by Diane Sawyer.
If this landed, see these
↳ Go deeperThe Art and Science of Asking Transformative QuestionsTurns tactful pushback into a repeatable skill: the right question design, not just a script.⇄ The counterpointPersuasion in the Age of AI for HR ProfessionalsSuggests what actually lands isn't tact technique but psychological levers like reciprocity and authority.✦ The unexpected oneAre You Okay? Fight Burnout Using PlayOffers play, not scripted phrases, as another way to defuse a tense exchange.